neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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