Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
