swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
This is the high leading the old right now
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
