I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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