Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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