The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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