Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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