Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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