Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
