Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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