She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
