I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
