it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My bed smells like the plague
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
