I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize