my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
