How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize