with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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