it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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