I can't watch pbs sober anymore
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
