I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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