i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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