You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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