OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
kristin has been a bad kristin
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
