She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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