Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
