My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize