rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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