Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
We need to get me chipped asap
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize