I'm gonna have a badass scar
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
