And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
