I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
