And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
