p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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