its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
