Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
