what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
