Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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