im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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