their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
