Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
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