porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
