i jhust puked up my retainher.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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