im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
