Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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