Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
