She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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