Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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