chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
