I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
