I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
