Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
