I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
