her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm both gender and math confused
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