i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just had sex on a roof
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
