walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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