GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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