hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
