My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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