Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
