Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Quick, to the slutcave!
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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