i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
