i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
